Learn to Naturally Attract Women

Limitations? Yes. Success? Yes.

2009-05-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

Hey sorry to anyone who's still following this... I've been pretty busy with other things. I haven't really been thinking much about pick up lately. I still go out regularly, been dating lots of women, taking up other hobbies etc.

This post goes directly to guys with negative self esteem. You have to just accept your limitations, work on them, and take action. This goes out to those of you who complain that you're too fat, ugly, shy, scared etc...

So to those of you who still feel like you are too limited to succeed with women (or life), check this guy out:

OK that was a little religious fluffy, but you get the gist.

Acknowledge any set backs ie. shyness Accept them, and MOVE ON. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.

Your Personal Coach

2009-04-01T16:23:00.000-07:00

(Sorry I haven't updated in a while or answered emails. I've been in and out of town, meeting and hanging out with tons of women, and picking up new interests/hobbies, just been trying to get this to be an active/productive year as i said i would in my new years post)

Let's talk about being productive when you're 'out'

When I got good at attracting women I focused on experiencing things, not just going out to have fun. Nowadays I focus more on just having a good time, but when you're beginning you especially have to focus on learning.

Not only are you learning 'skills', lines or gimmicks. You should be aquainting yourself to social experiences, and building up a tough skin and confidence.

So make every interaction with women a learning experience.

Here's what I do: Use your mind as your own personal coach. The coach in your head should be both teaching you and encouraging you as you go along.

He should be positive and optimistic, but also rational. If you're coach constantly says to you that you're awesome and that's the end of it (ie affirmations) then your subconscious will counter this. If you

Let me give you examples...

Sometimes when I see a really hot girl or am in an uncomfortable situation, my mind still can get irrational and might saying things like, "No you can't", "She's too hot for you", "You're not ____enough for her"

Counter this with your 'inner-coach' with something rational and real.

"Maybe I'm a little shy, but I'm going to just go out and have fun." or "She's super hot so I'm going to use this to motivate me to talk to her." "I am a dope guy when I act like myself and don't care so much about what others think of me." etc etc...

Especially when you're learning you have to be super encouraging and positive.

I'm serious about this... try it out for a month while going out often and interacting with a lot of people.

Eventually it will become a part of YOU and you'll just become a vibrant, attractive person.

Your mind might be predisposed to pull yourself down now, but if you actively use your inner-coach you'll be fine.

Remember you're a pimp and good luck

The Ultimate Dilema in 'Pick up'

2009-02-22T13:56:00.000-08:00

I've been getting a lot of emails from guys who ask specific questions about what the "right" thing to say in any particular situation....

The dilema here is that we're in this to become 'good' with women, while one of the most important aspects of becoming 'good' is just being a 'cool' guy.

How do you become a 'cool' natural guy without being 'try-hard'?

To be a 'cool' guy, you need to not really care about the outcome, be chill, positive, think outside your head, and be unreactive.

So how can you do this and at the same time say the 'right' thing?

Well first I'd say that whatever the hell you want to say. Don't think about it so much and just say what ever is entertaining to YOU, not her. If you're laughing having a good time etc, then she will be engulfed by your positive frame.

But ultimately you have to find a medium between the above and really saying something witty. BUT more important is the way your projecting yourself, not what your saying.

If you completely draw a blank everytime you hit on a girl just write down a few lines (ie opinion openers or direct lines like 'hey you seem cool, i just wanted to come meet you') then go out and talk to a bunch of women.

Don't over think what you have to say in the beginning because you will boggle your mind. Just keep it short and simple and groove. If you put so much into what your saying you will feel the need to follow it up with something more witty in a never ending cycle.

Talking to women is more rhythmic and about feelings and emotions, and NOT about always saying the right thing while thinking in your head about your next memorized line.

So let's take a step back and really see what the issue is.

Ask yourself why are you going out to meet women?

Ultimately to get better with women right?

I think the ultimate real reason is that you want to be satisfied, happy and successful.

I'm not condoning going out being a crazy happy go lucky party guy, and not connect with women at all.

I'm just saying you gotta have a great time while you 'learn' and gain experience.

It's OK to think about saying the right thing at times, but ultimately you have to enjoy what your doing or you'll crack.

A lot of 'dating gurus' try to make this whole 'pick up' thing more complicated then it really is. (A lot of these guys are self-loathing nerds who are really terrible with women, but are good at holding a 15 min conversation of memorized routines at a bar then eject from a set. But if that's what makes them happy then more power to them haha)

We can make this game extremely complicated and technical...or we can go out naturally with a good attitude (an attitude of trying to have a damn good time for yourself and not out to impress women with gimmicks and cute lines)

A lot of guys in the 'community' end up becoming try hard dancing monkeys... If you at any time feel like you're heading towards this, i'd say drop everything you are memorizing or doing and just go out with some friends and have a good time.

Go out and just meet people, find interest in them and be bold about it.

It's part of being normal and natural... so stop trying so hard and take a step back from all this crap that's been spewed at you.

Stop being so hard on yourself and reteach yourself to just have a good time and you'll probably start getting laid.

I'm saying this especially for guys who have been trying this "pick up" stuff for 6 months or more. If what you're doing isn't working it's time to change.

You fear approaching because you are 'try hard', expecting and over-thinking. Just drop it all and be free.

What's more important then learning a bunch of lines is making some long term goals. First sit down and ask yourself why you're doing this. Is it making you frusterated, or is are you really getting results (ie. meeting and connecting with attractive women, having long term relationships, sex)

It's OK to come back and dabble in your 'studies', but don't become obsessed. It's also alright to 'analyze' your game every now and then, because if you don't you'll just be that happy care free guy who chats up lots of girls and goes home empty handed.

So take action, and do. Push yourself hard to be great, but remember to be your awesome self. Stop over thinking and sweating the small stuff.

Does Will Get Nervous Around Women?

2009-02-12T16:31:00.001-08:00

Yes I still do.

But now I accept it, push through any awkwardness and try to have fun.

I especially experience this when I have been "out of the game for a while" or the first few minutes of a night out when I've been at the office all day etc. It's like I have to get into the groove again.

So now, if I feel anxiety at a club with tons of hot women, I simply say to myself, "I feel anxious right now, but it's not a big deal. It's all good and nothing will happen. Let's just try to have a good time".

It's like I'm my own personal coach.

Just think of that old book's title: Feel the Fear, and Do It Anyways.

The fear keeps reducing with experience and realization that nothing really bad will happen. I mean you're not going to lose a limb from this...trust me.

It's OK to have some fear, especially in social situations. Once you start grooving and building momentum it usually will tend to flow. But if you do NOTHING in a situation you will get NOTHING out of the situation and wind up feeling like SHIT.

After you go out and hit on women just tell yourself you did a good job and think of what you learned or who you met from a situation. This is all about growth.

A lot of times if I meet an exceptionally hot woman and even get her number I feel anxiety even up to this day. But I will push myself to do it and just say to my self GO FOR IT.

Here's a little story I recall from the movie Catch Me If You Can:

Two mice were dropped into a bucket of milk. One mouse drowned right away. The other mouse kept swimming and struggling until he made butter and walked out.

Nice guy vs Mean Guy...

2009-02-02T15:26:00.001-08:00

Being a nice guy will only get you so far...

Being an an ass hole will also only get you so far...

Becoming a naturally attractive guy will get you to the end

Think about how your game has changed from when you were totally unaware, to now that you have some game (or at least knowledge about it)

Are you being too extreme? Are you burning bridges to protect yourself?

A lot of guys get into this, learn about negging and become negging machines, only to blow out every possible love interest.

If you've been in the game for several months and haven't been getting results, it's time to change things up. (by results I mean regularly attracting and having sex with women, not just entertaining them by acting gay, lol) It's OK to show a woman interest, to tell her she's beautiful, or to man up and ask her out on a date without being "cocky funny" .

Find a medium... be true to your principles and become a well rounded person.

2009 - Best Year Ever!

2009-01-18T14:14:00.000-08:00

First off, Happy New Years, I made a vow to have this be my best year ever! Sorry I haven't been updating this much, I've just been enjoying life too much. I haven't been going out quite as much as before hitting on girls, just been taking off some time, while still hooking up with 'fun' buddies.

This year I've got some pretty specific set goals that I want to accomplish over the year and throughout my life to become a more effective and successful person. I also resolve to update this blog more often...but we'll see how that goes ;)

Alright No excuses! let's just get to it.

I've been thinking a lot lately about life and what it means to be a truly attractive man. It's important to be a well rounded in all aspects of life. This is especially true if you want to attract women and hold them for the long run (Not just use cheesy lines and memorized gimmicks to woo a woman temporarily in a completely try-hard way)

The problem with most guys is they put to much effor and time into one area, such as career and spend 80-90% of their time towards that.
While this is OK during times when you're looking for a new job etc, you never want to be stuck in a rut and become a one-sided person

When I first got heavily into dating and attracting women I spent 90% of my time toward it. Now I spend very little time thinking about it. I've internalized and just need to get into a good state and take action.

To me I go out to clubs/ lounges to have a good time and women just come. Almost on any given night I can leave the venue with a new girl.

If you're not successful with women I would suggest putting nearly 90% of your effort and time into it, at least for a while, until you get very satisfied with your success.

As the wise Stephen Covey puts it, to be an effective and successful person you have to become a well rounded principle centered person.

To do this you must spend equal time in different facets of life: dating, health, family, friends, career, finance, etc. But mainly you have to be true to your principles and self. I'll elaborate more on this later.

That being said, it's pretty darn nice to be good with women. :)

email me if you're in town and want to meet some women and have a blast doing it....

If you were to die today would you have any regrets?

2008-10-18T17:07:00.000-07:00

If you were on your deathbed would you wish that you'd spent more time at the office, browsing the internet, or watching TV?

Who looks back on their life and says: "Damn I really wish I spent a few more hours playing XBox"

Imagine what things you would have wished you did more...

Who would you have spent more time with?

Would you wish you spent more or less time working at the office?

What would you cut out... just reflect on the last year or so and imagine if you could get that time back...

You're probably going to regret not spending more time with your family, loved one's and forming relationships...with beautiful women (yeah like the one you avoided approaching the other day)

Now look at your front door...

and walk your ass out and meet some women

Luckily for you, ya still have time to change so get this part of your life handled

Technology

2008-10-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

Guess what Casanova's lay rate was?

Just 122 women over his life time.

At the time that was probably one of the highest.

How did Casanova keep in touch with so many women?

He'd risk life and limb by hopping through their windows random nights...

To keep in touch he'd have to write a letter and deliver it to them

While very romantic, I definitely would not recommend hopping through windows...nowadays it's easy for any guy to be a "Casanova" or "Don Juan" and easily reach their number of lays in a few years

I absolutely love using technology ie: text messaging, myspace, facebook

It allows me to maintain contact with lots of women

How often do hot women have facebook or myspace?

The majority of them...

It makes things so simple: You can easily mass text women or send out facebook invites to multiple friends. Keeping in touch is now easy

Not only can you keep in touch, but you can actually meet women online

Even if you're not trying to bed lots of women, technology can definitely be used to attract women. Especially if you're a shy guy you don't have to call up a girl right away. You can simply text back and forth to "get to know eachother"

She will simply think you're a busy guy and often this will increase her attraction to you.

I will for sure talk about texting, myspace, and facebook more in depth

I definitely recommend using technology to your advantage, even for those who are procrastinating techno-phobes or just old farts

'Typical' Wednesday Night

2008-10-08T20:34:00.000-07:00

Tonight could be a typical wednesday night...

I could sit in front of the TV and watch Comedy Central for a couple hours then go to bed...

Instead I'm inviting a girl over to watch TV with.

I actually met this girl when I was out on a date with another chick.

A couple weeks ago I was out with a girl I met in Hermosa Beach with her friends and my friends.

When your out with a group of girls it's really easy to meet random chicks, because of Social Proof (look it up)

While out, I eventually separate from the girl and quickly met a hot girl walking by, by just telling her I liked her red hat (which I actually did, but she was also hot as hell)

It was a 2 min interaction but the red hat girl told me she wouldn't give out her number so I just grabbed her phone (playfully) and punched in my phone.

Then I called myself, sending her number to me...

This is like many of my short sets, where I quickly get the number and move on...

I didn't even think much of it at the time because it's one of several numbers I will get in a given night.

We talked on the phone a few times and now have a 'date' set up for tonight.

I later added her on myspace and found out she's a go-go dancer and has a super hot body...

All she's doing is coming over to watch the Sarah Silverman show which I Tivoed earlier... I mean I was going to do this anyways tonight, so why not call a girl and invite her over for it...

That's why I always stress getting as many numbers as possible and making the most of them...

Be resourceful, and also believe that you have the ability to attract all these women... If not, at least try inviting them out and see what happens... you need as much experience as possible to get good with women and to get the best womn

If you're going to sit at home and watch TV anyways why not call up one of those numbers you got last week (ya know the one's that you think might not be 'solid' numbers)

Tonight we'll probably have a little wine and see where things go... (she's on her way here now)

The lesson is that you have to get good with women then become efficient with your time and resourceful at getting contact info with women.

When I started this I used to spend so much time trying to attract women, but later learned that it is quite simple, and now the logistics of meeting and courting them all come into effect.

To get good at this I used to spend so much time calling girls, meeting with them etc, like at one point I was seriously dating over 10 women at once... It was very detrimental to my health and time...

Now I have over 20 options in any given week...just girls who are 'fuck buddies', or that I'm seeing as a MLTR (multiple long term relationship) or I'm just talking to but haven't gone on a date yet

I just don't waste as much time trying to constantly stay in touch/ court them as I did before. I also (like many guys stuck in the game) used to get a bunch of contacts, flirt with them, but never set up an actual meeting... then it would fizzle out...

I try to do what I describe in the 'date' above, that is, see them on my own time when I'm doing my everyday things... It's important to keep yourself well rounded and have other things to do with your time.

(I still sometimes go on typical dates with certain girls...so there's always that too)

LR: Weeknight Fun

2008-10-02T13:29:00.001-07:00

OK so it was the middle of the week. I could have stayed home and watched baseball highlights on TV.... no instead I will go out and have a little fun...

We went to this club that was really difficult to get into, but luckily my friend had a hookup

Usually in these types of clubs you get better reactions when you hit on women because you are 'prescreened'. That is, the club is selective in who they let into the club. They only let in hot women, or men with connections, bottle service, or who are accompanied by hot women.

That way you don't get groups of men lurking about hitting on every woman in sight... which is actually much better for your game

This night was awesome...

Fuck TV, seriously as much as I love it... gotta say it's a waste of my damn time.

The night was great, at least overall... It was like many of my nights, it starts off with initial anticipation and a little self-doubt. Then I say 'fuck it' and just pump my state and get into a good positive mood.

The middle of my night had ups and downs as girls blew me off or loved me and as the night went on I made "allies" (girls who I #close / or just people I meet and befriend) etc

I did get a couple really bad reactions though, including a girl who said, "Get the fuck away from us!!" as I was walking towards her with a smile... haha

The best way to react to this is just keep smiling or just laugh and move on. It's partially a numbers game. A girl could be PMSing or just got dumped by a guy.

So I kept moving on despite any bad reactions and eventually ran into a hot chick...

She's very firey, and on vacation visiting a friend... just the type I like.

When a girl is on vaca all her inhibitions go out the door...

We dance, banter etc

Then it's out the door, hand in hand, to grab a hotdog at a stand (I paid, sorry David D)

a budding romance

Then I tease her that she has to take me out to dinner next time because I got her food this time ;)

We roll play, have a little romance, and a lot of fun

From there we bounce back to her place because I live far.........

The thing is I at least try to have a good time whether I get the girl or not, this time I just so happened to - it's Win-Win

Fr: Have Lot's of Options (Part 2)

2008-09-26T19:27:00.001-07:00

When you're in this game for a while and have had some level of success, you have to use that momentum to propel yourself even further...

It's like...when you're good you should just meet lots of girls and close. (by close I mean )

At this point in my game it's about meeting as many women as possible, getting their number and meeting up with them.

This game is about having real relationships with LOTS women (including sex), not just about learning to entertain them, put them on a pedestal or befriend them in a gay, non-sexual way.

Here's a little example of how I roll...

In the past week I've met tons of girls who are genuinely attracted to me. Like I always say, it is a numbers game and a strategy game more than anything once you have built up skills, have a great attitude, and become a naturally attractive guy.

Yesterday for instance I took a girl out on a first date to a friend's band. She was very pretty and had a great personality to back it up. Things went well and we kissed, made out etc,

We kept talking, making out, kissing, etc etc.....

The night dragged on and I could tell it wasn't going to go anywhere further on the physical level.

I live pretty far from where we went out so I figured I wouldn't pull her back to get to my place yet...so instead took the initiative to end the night

After saying our goodbyes that point I then called up 3 girls, one of whom was awake, and went to her house to have a good night...

Having other girls made this easy to do, and also made her yern for more. I ended the date on a high point

It's important to have many girls in your life... you'll not only have multiple options, but the experience will build up your inner game 100 times better than anything you

(c,,,edit of this post later)

Have better things to do then "Pick Up", BUT...

2008-09-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

So the other day I heard a friend of mine was referring to an old 'community' saying that, "You have to have things to do that are more important to you then 'pick up'."

I totally agree that you should have other things that are important to you, and get you out of your head. It's important to have a balanced and interesting life

This is especially important for guys who are OBSESSED with studying this stuff, but don't get laid.

But then again hey if you love this stuff, and love women and ARE getting laid then it's fine to put this in the forefront of what you do.

I also don't think you should 'give up' at meeting and attracting women and start putting ALL your time into something else.

For me I love women and I do put this stuff first in my life because I find it fun and rewarding... yes i love having sex with women and lots of them haha.

I also just like to go out and meet people (I used to not be like this, but after having some success it becomes fun).

At the same time I also have lots of other things I do for fun, from hanging out with friends, to reading, basketball, to poker, to traveling, movies, music, TV, etc.

I believe that you have to have a balanced life, but man... I love going out and picking up women.

Having one night stands is one of my favorite things to do, and hey if I'm good at it, why not? (Even nights where I go out and just get rejected a lot I have fun...)

I feel like a lot of guys who do pick up for a while then quit and say they have other things to do just never got good at it.

If every guy was as good as meeting women as me they would probably become obsessed with it.

Trust me, when you have real success it does not get old...

There are always hotter women, and cool women with interesting lives.

I'm constantly pushing myself to get better, while having fun along the way.

I say, if you're doing the same old shit, not getting laid... then push yourself and CHANGE what your doing.

It's like the old adage, "If what you're doing aint working then change it up"

Let's say you've been memorizing routine stacks for over a year and you still don't get women...

Well then I say go all out and try being very direct with women. Tell women straight up that you think they're beautiful.

Don't fear it, just DO IT and see what happens.

Try getting rejected for a month, it can be fun and you can learn a lot from it... I'm serious.

A lot of guys let their egos get in the way and will do anything from be very indirect and cold or act completely gay so they can avoid getting 'blown out'.

Try being direct...

Or if you are being too aggressive and scaring women away, try being a little more indirect. Some guys just scare women away because they seem too 'playerish'.

Anyways it's all about changing things up until you find your own way.

Don't be afraid of change, especially if you're not getting success (and by success I mean meeting, attracting, and actually having sex with women. A lot of guys in this game think that if they 'entertain' women, they have succeeded. They get caught up with this and become good at 'flash' game, but have few lays under their belts)

Back to having "better things to do"...

One of my buds who I used to wing with a lot now plays video games all the time.

He said that he likes having "other things he likes to do besides meeting hot women"... So now, instead of meeting women he plays video games 20+ hours a week.

I called him last Saturday to see if he wanted to go out. He said that he was really tired because he spent all of Friday night playing xbox... about 8 hours straight...

While he was playing X Box Friday, I went out, met a bunch of girls, and made out with an awesome chick who I already have a date with this wk.

As much as you love to do 'other things', I'm sorry but if that much time was spent on women you would be getting laid (provided that you're PUSHING yourself, changing up your game, and doing the right things)

Same thing goes for watching television.

Think about it and do the math. If you're watching 3 hours of TV a day, that's 21 hours per week...

I say spend that time going out and meeting women!

If you have time to watch 21 hours of TV you have time to go out 2-3 times a week and meet some people.

It's OK to watch TV, chill, and play video games, but if you're not having sex then for god sake have a life too! If you don't then work on it and work on it HARD.

You have nothing to lose (especialy if you're already not having sex) :)

Your video games and the TV will still be there...

Make pick up something you enjoy and you WILL succeed.

Good luck...

Over night Success?

2008-09-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

This stuff doesn't happen over night...

I was actively working on my game for a couple years before going mainly natural.

The thing is that it does take time and there's no magic pill that will get you 'good' immediately.

That's why learning to LOVE the game becomes essential.

Also, you can immediately go out, try things and have a good time while doing them. You don't have to 'master' this right away.

How did I 'learn' to become naturally good with women?

I compartamentalized my learning into chunks. I learned a little bit each time I went out and focused on fundamentals like having a positive attitude and the 4 keys.

Now I try not to think too much about 'gaming' women, but more about having a good time and let the women come to me...

You internalize things by learning things one step at a time.

Now, meeting women has become to Fishing versus Hunting.

Find a blog entry that resonates deeply with you then:

GO OUT AND TRY IT...

ACTION is the Key to success...

The Hot and Sexy Women of the Olympics

2008-08-20T17:18:00.000-07:00

I've been watching a lot of Olympics lately...

This year in particular I've noticed a lot of good looking female athletes and I've decided to make a "Top Olympics Hotties List". :-)

So, here it is in no particular order:

Alicia Sacramone
USA
Gymnastics

Alicia is the bomb-shell of the USA Gymnastic Team and although she had a poor performance on team competition in Beijing, she sure gets my vote as one of the hotter Olympians.

She's also been getting quite popular on the Internet.

Also, unlike a the rest of the gymnastic team she isn't jail-bait (She's 20 years old).

Woo hoo!

Bia and Branca Feres
Synchronized Swimming
Brazil

These girls are super hot and double trouble... who doesn't like twins, let alone Brazilian twins?

Yum...double your pleasure, double your fun!

Viva Brazil!

Lolo Jones
USA
Track Hurdles

What a pretty gal. In China she got tripped up on a hurdle, although she was the favored winner.

Stephanie Rice
Australia
Swimming

An Olympic swimmer, hottie and a party girl.

Stephanie Rice also posed for FHM Australia and had a controversial Facebook scandal.

And last but not least......

Vlada Camel-a-ta-toe
Kazakastan
Gymnist

How could I leave out Vlada Camelatatoe from Kazakastan...

LOL

...jk about this last Olympic Hottie (but seriously check out that camel toe...)

These are just some Olympic Babes.

Feel free to share your own!

~Will

Update

2008-08-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

Hey all, I've been pretty busy because of work and partially because I had a girl visiting that I met in Vegas a year ago. She ended up staying with me for the past week...

One thing that I've been thinking about lately is focusing on things that you are doing that are 'right' in your game, and keeping them up versus just focusing on 'sticking points' or things you are doing that are supposedly 'wrong'.

If you think like this versus purely negatively, then you will come off more confident and set a better frame.

Instead of always avoiding wrong behavior you'll start acting more congruent and confident with yourself and it will come off purely attractive to women.

You should want to become a confident person and believe in yourself. It's more important than any lines or techniques you can use to woo a woman.

For instance there are guys who are mere naturals who can act dorky or supposedly 'low value' but they are firm in their beliefs and very confident. Girls will go along with it just by the way they act and the fact that naturals aren't shy or low self esteem...

Good luck

Will Lovett

I Fail, Get Back Up, And Try Again

2008-08-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

I just wanted to let you all know that I've been rejected thousands of times...

Did I mention Michael Jordan has missed thousands upon thousands of shots...

It's not really a big deal. It's how you react after the rejection (and if you let it emotionally affect you) that matters more

(You can learn as much from failure as you can from success)

Try going out with a super happy positive attitude...like you're a kid in a candy store...and try approaching like 10 girls. This will pump up your state drastically.

At the same time go in with the attitude that you don't give a damn, and are just out to have a good time no matter what happens.

Do this with the mindset that your are out to have a good time and as a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.... You'll learn so much more from doing this sort of excercise than sitting at home reading about 'game'

Even if an interaction goes 'bad' just continue pressing on...

A lot of times an interaction that you initially think is 'bad' actually turns out good.

Remember that women will often put on a negative front when you first approach them, especially in a club. This is usually a test to see what your intentions are or if you'll tuck your tail between your legs and run away. She also, often doesn't want to appear 'easy' to you or anyone else watching.

How you react to her is often what makes or breaks an interaction. No matter how she reacts remain confident and positive.

Be completely unaffected by the outcome.

If the interaction still isn't going so well, keep your head up, smile and move on. (whatever happened remember that you got to practice and probably learned something)

If you're a guy who's generally shy you probably have a pretty pessimistic attitude and are not even aware of this.

Deny the negative chatter box in your head from affecting your emotions and mood. You have to counter and shut off any negative thoughts and keep on trekking!

Learn from the experience. How did your state/ positive attitude affect the interaction? What did you learn about staying engaged in the conversation and persistence?

Even I have nights where I'm rejected countless times but still end up having a good time. Maybe I'll meet some interesting characters, or just chill and have some good conversations.

A week ago I had such a 'bad' night, probably because I was in a negative state already. My anxiety felt like it was creeping back and I was letting it get the most of me. I kept trying to pump up my state and had a lot of bad reactions from girls.

Anyways at the end of the night I ended up meeting a girl who I have a date with tonight.

What does this prove?

That persistence pays off especially in this game.

If I had let my mood get the most of me I would have given up, but I kept trying to have a good time and finally connected with someone...

Make every interaction a learning experience... good luck

.

Einstein's Views of 'Pick Up'

2008-08-04T17:39:00.000-07:00

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else."

-Albert Einstein

Ok... maybe this wasn't meant to apply to attracting women, but it definitely can. AND it applies to all of LIFE's ventures...

This sums it up:

learn the rules, skills etc... then APPLY them...

PLAY the game, don't just learn the rules

Inspiration...

2008-08-03T22:37:00.000-07:00

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/marlie-casseus-says-thank-you/18296016

Here's a short video about an inspiring little girl who delt with a 16 pound bone-tumor in her face!

These sorts of stories are inspiring... we should be grateful for who we are and happy with what we have

...at the same time we need to stay motivated and strive to be better!

Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men

2008-08-03T16:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.livescience.com/health/080410-couples-beauty.html

Don't use looks as an excuse...

Work on qualities of being a man like confidence, assertiveness, sense of humor, personality, goals, positive attitude, and even some dating theory.

You CAN change with hard work and perseverance...

LR: 'Saved the Day' for a Girl on a Date

2008-08-01T17:02:00.000-07:00

First off I in no way advocate stealing a man's women, especially not a girl who has been dating a guy for a while. I do however think it's a dog-eat-dog world and you have to get what comes with the skills you acquire... ;)p

Why is it good to keep in touch with MANY women?

Well last night I was out to meet women with a wing...

I happened to run into a girl that I got a number of a while back. We had been texting back and forth, but I have too many other things going on so I hadn't set up a time to meet with her...

I keep in touch with lot's of women and when it's convenient we meet

She's a hot young Italian/Spanish girl.

Funny thing is she was out with someone as well... a date with some lame douche...

We just happened to be right behind the two love birds in line. I merely acted happy to see her, which I was. because she looked hot.

The guy she's on a date with is a cocky, tall, good looking guy. When I chat her up he scowls at me with his head cocked back...I'm thinking...ok whatever

Since he's being dickish I just ignore him. The girl and I talk a little then I say hey good to see you. I'll see you inside ;).

In line I overhear them talking and he was trying to win her over by telling her how he was going to Ibiza, he also brags about where he lives his etc yawn etc...

...Tool...

Anyways I do my normal thing in the night club talking to women etc...

Then at 1 am I text her:

"Hey how come you're cheating on me!"

She responds in 5 min calls me up a bit inebriated:

She wants me to come over immediately.

She's a bit camera shy

I gladly do so and spend the night...

Before sex she asked me why I was ignoring her and talking to other girls all night. I'm like WTF!? You were on a date I didn't want to bother you etc...

She says her date was "boring as hell"

Anyways, we have great sex (she was super kinky) and she thanks me for ''saving the day"

Afterwards, I ask her if she liked the guy and where she met him, and she replies, "He is friends with a friend of mine and wanted to meet me. He was good for free drinks"

...wow

I wonder what that guy was thinking when he saw us chat at first... she really perked up seeing me and seemed miserable when she was talking to him...

I wonder if that's why he seemed so defensive and stand-offish when he first saw me... it's like he sensed something

If he only knew what happened after their date man that would be devastating...

Moral of the story is if you're like this guy, you have to work on yourself and do what you can to change.

The guy was obviously on the date in a needy, 'impress the girl' frame. He was trying to impress her in every way unsuccessfully, not acting on his own intentions. He should have vibed and had fun with her for himself, but instead felt the need to kiss up and brag about himself...

It comes back to two types of guys: the 'lover' and the 'provider'...

The lover makes the girl feel good, sexually excites her, dazzles her, charms her etc...

The provider makes her feel secure financially and in the long run. He does what the woman wants and kisses up to her in every way especially when it involves money.

He puts women on a pedestal (when women and men are actually equals) feeling the need to control the situation by constantly giving and pleasing the women.

He's basically the guy that the woman makes 'wait' for sex. He's safe and secure, and doesn't stir up any emotions in women.

I'm the lover of women because I enjoy women on an EQUAL level and just vibe and have fun with them... He knows what he wants in women and goes for it. The lover is attractive to women at an deep, innate level.

I know how to excite the girl emotionally and make things sexual...

Any girl would much rather have a good time with me and have great sex than go on another average boring date by another typical guy.

At least right now when I'm single... ;)

The Barry Kirkey Radio Show

2008-07-31T20:54:00.000-07:00

Ha ha ha!

The Barry Kirkey Radio Show
revolution31.com/blog

For those of you who know of 'the seduction community' there's a pretty funny 'shock' radio show by this guy Barry who used to be known as 'Twenty Six'.

(Side note: For those of you who don't know about the 'seduction community'. It's a mainly online community of guys who study seduction and pick up theory for meeting women. I was pretty deep into it a couple years ago as part of my self-improvement, but then started doing my own thing more. I think if you do get into the community use it to better yourself, but also be your own person and don't let it dictate who you are... more on my views on the community)

Anyways, Barry is similar to Howard Stern and parodies the community and makes fun of a lot of the weird creepy 'pick up artist' type guys and their egos

Me and my friends have been making imitating a lot of the sound bites from the show which are pretty hilarious... (we like to just have fun when we hit on women)

Check it out it's pretty damn funny stuff!

Who's Happier, Men or Women?

2008-07-31T13:29:00.000-07:00

ABC News Article:

Who's Happier, Men or Women?

This article speaks for why so many men feel unsatisfied and frustrated, especially young men...

In this study they found that women are happier than men until the age of around 48 years.

The study looks at satisfaction in finances and family in particular, but really if you're unsatisfied in one aspect of life, then you're probably generally unsatisfied with ALL aspects.

So many variables are involved with the reasons for happiness with men and women, but one variable has to do with how young women are treated in society versus young men.

Social conditioning has made it difficult to achieve satisfaction for young men... in the dating world for instance, we're expected to be the 'chasers', we have trouble getting into night clubs, where women can just walk in if they have a sexy dress, we're expected to make the first move, etc...

Society structures men into 'wusses', which are very unattractive to women. Men are expected to be typical 'nice guys'...

This makes men even sadder and they feel the need to try harder to impress and court women. It's like a negative cycle, men watch movies and other media and expect to get results by modeling them.

Thus young men are very frustrated...

So society makes it so much more difficult for men... A man's level of success is judged mainly by how he carries himself, his personality, ambitions and material wealth.... not just 'looks'.

A young woman just has to dress up, slap on make up and look good to get attention from people.

That's why there are a million materials, like magazines and beauty products, for making women 'look' better.

If a woman wants to get laid all she has to do is dress up and go out to a nightclub...

With time woman's looks degrade and she receives less attention in many of life's facets.

play on playas

A lot of guys work really hard in their careers to overcome unhappiness early in life because they think that most of it stems from material things, but to be genuinely happy I think you need to feel satisfaction on another level.

Really knowing all the above should be MOTIVATION to improve yourself at a core level in all aspects of your life...

It's a mix of just feeling good and happy with yourself as well as having achieved many feats in life.

The first part of the mix is hard to quantify, but has to do with fully accepting yourself, and having core confidence.

The second part is easier to quantify, but relates to the first...for instance being able to attract women consistently makes you satisfied with yourself.

This is why you have to improve yourself on many levels... always growing

There are so many variables to happiness and no one seems to truly know how to achieve it fully...

PS... this is a good debate to talk to women about, as long as you don't get too frustrated with it...you can use it as an interesting subject to talk about on a date with women or when out

FR: Night Out

2008-07-29T16:11:00.000-07:00

I went out over the wkend and ended up making out with this cute 19 yo (with fake ID of course)

She had amazing legs and a super hot ass...it's ON!

I just went total direct intent up to her and started chatting her up.

At first she was taken back especially because she was with a bunch of her friends (girls are always afraid of being judged as 'slutty' in front of them)

So of course she kept giving me shit tests (a girl giving you a hard time to test if you're 'worthy' and can handle her 'abuse')...

She was actually quite mean at first.

What I did was just won her over with my friendly positive nature. Acting just as much indifferent to her shit tests, then continuing to talk to her as friendly as possible...

Also, her guy friends were hovering around her like a bunch of body guards....

So I left her to deal with them and went off to talk to other chicks... then when I met with her again and she was alone (when you're one-on-one with a girl is the best time to make your move. doing it in front of her friends is a total faux pas)...

We made out and it was on!

She even ended up giving me a hickie, which I actually find annoying (she's 19 so i'll let it slide)

Yumm ;)

GET THE F*** OUT OF YOUR HEAD

2008-07-28T18:38:00.000-07:00

This applies to new guys, shy guys, and guys who still have 'approach anxiety' (they feel anxious when approaching women, often avoiding women all together).

I've met a lot of guys who have been actively working on attracting women for a while and are still very anxious when approaching women.

This usually stems from a FEAR of REJECTION (letting a rejection affect you personally) or PERFECTIONISM (feeling the need to always have the 'right thing to say' or and over-thinking while out)...

(It's OK to sometimes just kick back and chill when you're out having fun, and not approach women, BUT if you see a woman you like and feel 'approach anxiety' then there's a problem. Also, sometimes depending on your mood you may still feel some approach anxiety every now and then)

So to get good you need to get out of your head...

Stop fearing rejection and stop seeking perfect approaches...

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!

When you're in field thinking too much ruins your game...

You ultimately want things to just VIBE and FLOW.

A guy who naturally attracts women doesn't think so much when he's out hitting on women.

He may have a few stories or lines he regularly uses, but most of the interaction becomes improvisational.

The only thing he thinks about is getting the woman into bed, or getting a kiss...in a positive, fun way, not in a catastrophic way like shy guys do.

That's how to truly be natural.

It's OK to brain storm, plot, plan or whatever when you're at home. You can even have a few lines to use if it helps you not think so much.

But when you're in field you should try to merely 1) get in a good mood and 2) think about how to have more fun.

If you're shy or have approach anxiety it's most likely that you have Automatic Negative Thoughts (or ANTs).

ANTs are untrue thoughts that occur quickly and are so deeply ingrained in our beliefs. They can form into an emotional or behavioral response (ie: blushing, stuttering, assuming that a girl will give you a 'bad reaction' or 'not having anything to say')

For guys who are shy, in a social situation one's mind works uncontrollably and usually negatively.

Ultimately we try to AVOID situations because of these 'faulty', negative thoughts.

You have to combat any negative thinking like ANTs by asking yourself is this really rational thinking or am I just catastrophizing a normal situation.

For instance when you're at a bar and see a girl you like and have a thought pop up like:

"If I talk to her she will give me a bad reaction. She probably wants to be left alone. I don't have enough to offer her... I'm worthless" etc

You have to quickly counter that with a rational statement like:

"People go to bars to interact socially and have fun. If she has a problem with me then who the fuck gives a shit. If she has a bad attitude, that's her problem There are plenty of women out there" [smiling :)]

Do this with ANTs thoughts throughout the day and especially when you're actively approaching women.

The goal is to think more rationally and say stuff to yourself like, "Women like meeting me. I'm interesting and fun, if they do have a problem I won't let it get me down. I'm here to have a good time."

Remember not everyone is going to like you... The more you approach women the more you will realize this. It's completely OK to get bad reactions and you will definitely get them if you take attracting women seriously.

There are a million reasons why women react poorly, often it doesn't involve YOU, but is HER problem. ie. She could just be in a bad mood, she could have low self esteem, she could have just broken up with an asshole boyfriend, she only likes guys with 5 tattoos or more and a bunch of piercings, she could have just been rejected so feels shitty, she could even have anxiety herself!....

I still get some bad reactions from women. Sometimes it affects me emotionally a little, but I will counter it immediately by reminding myself that I already have plenty of women in my life and think of all my success.

Even the other night I met a girl who first reacted to me negatively. I tried to talk to her and she just turned around with a scowl on her face. Later I opened her friend and the previous girl got in my face, started talking to me and getting my number... I even reminded her that she had 'rejected' me earlier and she completely denied it!!

After countering your negative thoughts, you want to shift your perspective to be more positive.

Thinking positively makes you 'dumb down' your mind and not think incessantly and negatively.
Some of the BEST guys with women I've seen have the most positive outlook towards life and don't think much about picking up a girl...

To them NOTHING can change their positive attitude... let alone a bad reaction from a woman

If they get bad reactions from a woman they merely are unaffected, then either move on to another woman or just keep talking until they win that girl over.

They just go for the girl...

They don't fear failure at all.

They don't over-think about what could go wrong.

They're like the pick up energizer bunny...They keep going and going...

So in the end you want to apply a positive mindset towards life and women and it will ultimately lead to success.

It will also make you shut off your mind and any automatic negative thoughts

The most important thing is to take some ACTION and get real EXPERIENCE. You can even do this by progressively getting your feet wet with women (start off by just making eye contact with 10 women, then say 'Hi' to 10 women, asking 10 women questions, ....progressively. depending on your anxiety levels).

It's also really good to have friends or wingmen who can push you, or get guys who are already good to take you out. Learn from people who are better than you.

For more information about overcoming shyness you can check out this resource:

The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, Fourth Edition

by Edmund Bourne

Video of Kiss 'Rejection'

2008-07-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me this video of a guy named Alex who is supposedly an instructor for "real social dynamics" getting a 'bad' reaction from a girl he met.

Most of the comments on Youtube are negative...I agree that he's kind of crass, and doesn't really gage the situation well, but I think he was just trying to have fun.

I don't really know the background of the vid, but I think it shows that even guys who are 'good' can get a 'bad' reaction. What I saw in this video is that this guy isn't outocome dependent. (it didn'te really affect his attitude or state after she turned down the kiss)

I don't think he even gave a shit about her not kissing him. He just yelled at her to stop, went right up to her, and she didn't kiss him. No big deal...

I think it is a good learning experience to push yourself until you get rejected just to know how it feels and become immune to it.

Anyways not every reaction goes super smooth. It's how you react to a rejection that shows your true self. The guy in the video didn't seem to care and kept pushing.

My 'game' is totally different from this guy, but there are many ways to 'get the girl'. I give him props for having balls like that to just stop a girl in her tracts and go for a kiss... it looked like he was doing it for fun.

A lot of guys are so scared of getting rejected, But guys who are naturally good with women have been rejected countless times... they just brush it off and move on to other hot women.

One guy posted a YouTuve comment that, "The video is painful to watch" ...but really who gives a shit? He went in for the kiss at the wrong time, but did it from a fun-frame and didn't care.

If you have the balls to do an approach like that then you can probably learn to tone it down and get a girl easy...

Here's a little excercise

Why don't you all try to go out and try getting 'rejected' like this guy. Just do it a few times at a club or out at a book store. The first time it might feel shitty, but soon you will realize it doesn't really matter.

If you develop a strong wall and just don't give a damn, then you will lose your approach anxiety.

You become immune to rejection and become stronger by doing so. Becoming indifferent to rejection is essential to being good with women.